Something to Offend Everyone!!

General information, views and opinions on activities at Put-in-Bay.

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dvlcrush
Posts: 934
Joined: Mon Mar 28, 2005 9:37 am
Location: Warren, Michigan

Something to Offend Everyone!!

Postby dvlcrush » Tue Mar 13, 2007 7:48 am

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan

What is! the difference between a Harley & a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts

Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities

What's the difference between a girlfriend & a wife?
45 lbs

What's the difference between a boyfriend & a husband?
45 minutes

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a new husband & a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.

What's the difference between a porcupine & BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.

Why did OJ Simpson want to move to Arkansas?
Everyone has the same DNA.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo."

Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays & Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

What would you call it when an Italina has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.

What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying half-mast?
They're hiring.

What's the difference between a southern zoo & northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage alon with....."a recipe".

How do you get a sweet little 80 yr old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80 yr old lady to yell *BINGO*!

What's the difference between a northern fairytale & a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." & a southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this s...t"

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Laugh when you can, Apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change. Kiss slowly, Play hard, Forgive quickly, Take chances, Give everything and Have NO Regrets. Life is too short to be ANYTHING but HAPPY!!!

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Bullette
Posts: 2291
Joined: Mon Jan 12, 2004 2:22 pm
Location: Willoughby, OH
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Postby Bullette » Tue Mar 13, 2007 9:06 am

Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any


Don't I know it!
Hey! Who took the cork off my lunch??!

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dvlcrush
Posts: 934
Joined: Mon Mar 28, 2005 9:37 am
Location: Warren, Michigan

Postby dvlcrush » Tue Mar 13, 2007 9:50 am

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Just go out and find someone and be like listen......I need sex, U need sex.....so lets just do each other....no strings attached, no commitment, you leave when we both get off and dont call me again!!

Well that is unless it is reallll good than draw up and agreement for a booty call.....lay down the rules!! :wink:
Laugh when you can, Apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change. Kiss slowly, Play hard, Forgive quickly, Take chances, Give everything and Have NO Regrets. Life is too short to be ANYTHING but HAPPY!!!

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Bullette
Posts: 2291
Joined: Mon Jan 12, 2004 2:22 pm
Location: Willoughby, OH
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Postby Bullette » Tue Mar 13, 2007 10:38 am

I've done that before... and it just never works out that way... the only good one is up there in Michigan... but he has a girlfriend now... I think I told you about him...
Hey! Who took the cork off my lunch??!

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pbosak
Posts: 528
Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2004 9:29 am
Location: Columbus, OH
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Postby pbosak » Tue Mar 13, 2007 12:33 pm

Wow, I'd love for some girl to come up to me and say that. I only read about stuff like that in Playboy.

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Bullette
Posts: 2291
Joined: Mon Jan 12, 2004 2:22 pm
Location: Willoughby, OH
Contact:

Postby Bullette » Tue Mar 13, 2007 1:05 pm

You've never had that happen to you? Have you ever had a buddy?
Hey! Who took the cork off my lunch??!

User avatar
dvlcrush
Posts: 934
Joined: Mon Mar 28, 2005 9:37 am
Location: Warren, Michigan

Postby dvlcrush » Tue Mar 13, 2007 3:50 pm

Lives in Michigan???? Huh??? Who??? Dont think ya told me about that....PM me with the info!!

Hey Pbosak...Awww...Im sure you have some girlie that give you the sexin!!!
Laugh when you can, Apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change. Kiss slowly, Play hard, Forgive quickly, Take chances, Give everything and Have NO Regrets. Life is too short to be ANYTHING but HAPPY!!!

User avatar
pbosak
Posts: 528
Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2004 9:29 am
Location: Columbus, OH
Contact:

Postby pbosak » Wed Mar 14, 2007 6:45 am

I have had "buddies." Those are the best and you have to take advantage of them while you have them.

User avatar
dvlcrush
Posts: 934
Joined: Mon Mar 28, 2005 9:37 am
Location: Warren, Michigan

Postby dvlcrush » Wed Mar 14, 2007 11:21 am

Exactlyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!
Laugh when you can, Apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change. Kiss slowly, Play hard, Forgive quickly, Take chances, Give everything and Have NO Regrets. Life is too short to be ANYTHING but HAPPY!!!


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