Friday Funnies!!

General information, views and opinions on activities at Put-in-Bay.

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dvlcrush
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Friday Funnies!!

Postby dvlcrush » Fri Feb 09, 2007 10:38 am

The Answers to 5 Important Questions:

Q1: WHAT ARE THE SMALL BUMPS AROUND A WOMAN'S NIPPLES FOR?
A: It's Braille for "suck here".

Q2. WHAT IS AN AUSTRALIAN KISS?
A: It's the same as a French kiss, only "down under"

Q3. WHAT DO YOU DO WITH 365 USED CONDOMS?
A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.

Q4. WHY ARE HURRICANES NORMALLY NAMED AFTER WOMEN?
A: Because when they come, they're wild and wet. But when they go, they take your house and car with them.

Q5. WHY DO GIRLS RUB THEIR EYES WHEN THEY GET UP IN THE MORNING?
A: Because they don't have any balls to scratch.

Now, you know everything you need to know!
Laugh when you can, Apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change. Kiss slowly, Play hard, Forgive quickly, Take chances, Give everything and Have NO Regrets. Life is too short to be ANYTHING but HAPPY!!!

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dvlcrush
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Location: Warren, Michigan

Postby dvlcrush » Fri Feb 09, 2007 10:52 am

Next.............
The Rules of a Blow Job for Girls and Guys!!!

WHAT A GIRL HAS TO SAY ON THE SUBJECT

1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
2. Extension to rule ..1 - So if you get one, be grateful.
3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw, it is not standard practice to cum on someone's face.
4. Extension to rule ..3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.
5. My ears are NOT handles.
6. Extension to rule ..5 - do not push on the top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really Want puke on your member (taking out the bad words).
7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get, it is NEVER OK to fart.
8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get it thru your head...I'm bloated & I feel like crap so no, I dont feel particular;y obligated to blow you just because you cant have sex right now.
9. Extension to ..8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school girls - if you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol.
10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you.
11. Leavin me in bed while you go play video games immediately afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the future.
12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment & be happy that we're good at it. See also rule...2 about gratitude.
13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the protein content.
14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.
15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow
jobs often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either
sympathize or brag.
16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to
"kiss it good morning."

WHAT A MAN HAS TO SAY ON THE SUBJECT

1. First of all, yes you're obligated to do it. If you don't, we will find someone younger, prettier & dirtier who will.
2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot easier than licking a dead fish. (AMEN!!)
3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean anything to you?
4. I will use your ears as I see fit. don't worry about it and be thankful Im not pullin your hair.
5. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is the
only way to stop you from [banned] and moaning. Suck it up!
6. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days, you need all the fluids you can get. Trust me.
7. You b-i-t-c-h about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we get the short end of the stick in flavor country.
8. At least there is no danger of a member bleeding in your mouth.
9. Play with the balls.
10. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.
11. Caress the booty, too. We like that.
12. Make hay when the sun shines. It's "wide awake" in the morning now, but when you get old & fat & looking for some action, I gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep."
13. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on
your face, now will you?
Laugh when you can, Apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change. Kiss slowly, Play hard, Forgive quickly, Take chances, Give everything and Have NO Regrets. Life is too short to be ANYTHING but HAPPY!!!

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Taz
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Postby Taz » Fri Feb 09, 2007 10:57 am

OK, you have WAY TOO much time on your hands!!!
It happened at the bay, and man, I can't even remember her name!!!!!!!!!

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dvlcrush
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Location: Warren, Michigan

Postby dvlcrush » Fri Feb 09, 2007 11:00 am

Actually they were sent to me from someone at work!! But ya I do have to agree that I have way to much time on my hands here.........Thats why Im on here so much!!

Where are the pics from Costaaaa????
Laugh when you can, Apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change. Kiss slowly, Play hard, Forgive quickly, Take chances, Give everything and Have NO Regrets. Life is too short to be ANYTHING but HAPPY!!!

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Taz
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Location: Cleveland, OH

Postby Taz » Fri Feb 09, 2007 11:25 am

I just got them to disk, I'm gonna send them to Kindy and he should have them posted by Monday.
It happened at the bay, and man, I can't even remember her name!!!!!!!!!

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dvlcrush
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Postby dvlcrush » Fri Feb 09, 2007 11:30 am

Sounds fabbbbuuullloouuss!!
Laugh when you can, Apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change. Kiss slowly, Play hard, Forgive quickly, Take chances, Give everything and Have NO Regrets. Life is too short to be ANYTHING but HAPPY!!!

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Mills
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Postby Mills » Fri Feb 09, 2007 12:14 pm

Love the rules Deil :lol: I have seen them before and are true to both men and women LOL!! Unless you can find a good woman who likes to give and take :wink:
Mills, from Cincinnati

If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted together and have the time of our lives!!!!

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Mills
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Postby Mills » Fri Feb 09, 2007 12:16 pm

I meant Devil :oops:
Mills, from Cincinnati



If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted together and have the time of our lives!!!!

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dvlcrush
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Postby dvlcrush » Fri Feb 09, 2007 12:36 pm

I totally understand what you mean....all around!! :wink:

Heck I always thought a good face shot was okay every now and than..........Ha Ha Ha....LMFAO!!!
Laugh when you can, Apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change. Kiss slowly, Play hard, Forgive quickly, Take chances, Give everything and Have NO Regrets. Life is too short to be ANYTHING but HAPPY!!!

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Mills
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Postby Mills » Fri Feb 09, 2007 1:14 pm

That is what I am shouting!! Gotta be wild and crazy at least sometimes!!! :wink:
Mills, from Cincinnati



If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted together and have the time of our lives!!!!

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dvlcrush
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Joined: Mon Mar 28, 2005 9:37 am
Location: Warren, Michigan

Postby dvlcrush » Fri Feb 09, 2007 2:45 pm

Heck...I have to agree disagree with the monthly statement about not giving one than since we are crabby and all....someone might as well get some if I cant. :oops:

Heck I dont know about all other girls but that is when I am most horny!! :twisted:
Laugh when you can, Apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change. Kiss slowly, Play hard, Forgive quickly, Take chances, Give everything and Have NO Regrets. Life is too short to be ANYTHING but HAPPY!!!

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Bullette
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Postby Bullette » Fri Feb 09, 2007 2:50 pm

That's why birth control was invented... my doctor writes me a continuous prescription so I'm not down once a month...

Of course, not like it matters now anyway!
Hey! Who took the cork off my lunch??!

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dvlcrush
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Postby dvlcrush » Fri Feb 09, 2007 3:11 pm

Nice........lol........So your not down once a month thats funny
Laugh when you can, Apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change. Kiss slowly, Play hard, Forgive quickly, Take chances, Give everything and Have NO Regrets. Life is too short to be ANYTHING but HAPPY!!!

WCM
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Postby WCM » Fri Feb 09, 2007 3:49 pm

based on me extensive research over the past 12 years, I have concluded girls are most horny when ragging it

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kindy52
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Postby kindy52 » Fri Feb 09, 2007 3:50 pm

LOVE THE RULES DEVIL!

I'm gonna go play video games now.
Hide the Rum!


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