Final Approach & Cowboy Boots!!

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dvlcrush
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Joined: Mon Mar 28, 2005 9:37 am
Location: Warren, Michigan

Final Approach & Cowboy Boots!!

Postby dvlcrush » Thu Jan 25, 2007 8:38 am

FINAL APPROACH

A jumbo jet is just coming into the Toronto Airport on its final approach.
The pilot comes on the PA, "This is your Captain. We're on our final descent into Toronto. I want to Thank-u for flying with us today & I hope you enjoy stay in Toronto"

He forgets to switch off the PA system, & the whole plane can hear his
conversation with his co-pilot. The copilot says to the pilot, "Well, skipper,
watcha gonna do in Toronto?"

"Well," says the skipper, "first I'm gonna check into the hotel & take a
big crap, then I'm gonna take that new stewardess with the huge tits out for dinner, then I'm gonna wine & dine her, take her back to my room & put it to her big time all night long!"

Everyone on the plane hears this & immediately begins looking up & down
the isles trying to get a look at the new stewardess.

Meanwhile the new stewardess is at the very back of the plane. She's so
embarrassed that she tries to run to the [banned] to turn the intercom off.
Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady's bag & falls on her face.

The old lady leans over and says: "No need to hurry, dear. He's gonna take a [banned] first."
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


Cowboy Boots

This is hilarious..An elderly couple, Margaret & Bert, are in California. Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. So seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly. He walks into the house & says to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?"

Margaret looks him over, "Nope." Frustrated Bert storms off into the bathroom, undresses, & walks back into the room completely naked except for the boots. Again, he asks, a lil loider this time, "Notice anything different NOW?"

Margaret looks up & says, "Bert, what's different? It's hanging down
today, it was hanging down yesterday, & it'll be hanging down again
tomorrow."

Furious, Bert yells, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?"
"Nope," she replies. "IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!" To which Margaret replies..."Shoulda bought a hat, Bert. Shoulda bought a hat."
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[/u][/b]
Laugh when you can, Apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change. Kiss slowly, Play hard, Forgive quickly, Take chances, Give everything and Have NO Regrets. Life is too short to be ANYTHING but HAPPY!!!

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dvlcrush
Posts: 934
Joined: Mon Mar 28, 2005 9:37 am
Location: Warren, Michigan

Postby dvlcrush » Thu Jan 25, 2007 8:42 am

The words that were banned are male genital starting with a C and ending with a K....with pit on the end of it C**KPIT

and the other one was another 4 letter word for Poo!!
Laugh when you can, Apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change. Kiss slowly, Play hard, Forgive quickly, Take chances, Give everything and Have NO Regrets. Life is too short to be ANYTHING but HAPPY!!!

WCM
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Joined: Fri Jun 04, 2004 11:43 am
Location: Cleveland, OH
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Postby WCM » Thu Jan 25, 2007 1:00 pm

HA!

So there is this old Scottish man, Joe, sitting at a bar when in walks "Sheriff Bill". Sheriif Bill had been sheriff in town for only 10 years, but was still known around town as "Sheriff Bill"....most weren't even sure what his last name was. The fact that everyone calls him "Sheriff Bill" frustrates the old man and he begin to vent to the guy sitting next to him.

Joe says, "You know, I was a blacksmith for the first 25 years of my life. I made horeshoes, fireplace tools - I even made old Scottish Swords with family emblams in them for people. But no one ever called me 'Blacksmith Joe'"

"Later on in life I became interested in glass blowing, and glass design. For the past 15 years I made various glass works - everything from fancy wine glasses to stained glass ornaments to hang in your window. But no one ever called me 'Glass Maker Joe'".

"Everyone knows I was born in Scotland. I wear my kilt to church every Sunday! For much of my life, I even had a thick Scotish accent. But no one ever called me 'Scotish Joe'".

"But I tell ya, you go out and f--k one goat..."

User avatar
dvlcrush
Posts: 934
Joined: Mon Mar 28, 2005 9:37 am
Location: Warren, Michigan

Postby dvlcrush » Thu Jan 25, 2007 2:31 pm

LMFAO!!!!! :lol: :lol:
Laugh when you can, Apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change. Kiss slowly, Play hard, Forgive quickly, Take chances, Give everything and Have NO Regrets. Life is too short to be ANYTHING but HAPPY!!!

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Taz
Posts: 2197
Joined: Mon Jan 12, 2004 5:06 pm
Location: Cleveland, OH

Postby Taz » Fri Jan 26, 2007 12:23 pm

NICE!
It happened at the bay, and man, I can't even remember her name!!!!!!!!!


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